Why I hate this time of year

Now that Thanksgiving is almost in the books the "holiday" season begins. It all gets kicked off on the retailers 4th of July otherwise known as "Black Friday".  Ever since I was a youngin' I have always hated this time of year.  The end of November into the 3rd week of December have always been the most brutal time of the year for me. I have no "holiday spirit" because I believe that as a society we have lost our way when it comes to knowing the meaning of this time of year.  On top of that I never had a good experience growing up at this time of year so as the years have gone on my feeling of despise for this time of year continues to grow.  All those that think that this time of year is about what the most expensive gift you get or give, or the flashiest piece of technology you can get your grimy hands on distinguishes you at this time of year, people are seriously mistaken.  People can call me a grinch or say I have coal in my stocking but I know that my belief in society lowers to the lowest depths at this time of year.

Even for Thanksgiving people come up with reasons what they are "thankful" for and the majority of them are pointless and idiotic.  The only thing people should be thankful for and not only on Thanksgiving but every other day of the year is the following:
1) We live in a country where you can do what you damn well please
2) We are defended by the bravest and most honorable men and women in uniform anywhere in the world
3) Because of the blanket of freedom provided by our men and women in uniform you can speak your mind without major persecution.
4) If you're healthy enough to not have to worry about waking up everyday you're lucky.

There are many other things that everyone should be thankful for but I don't feel like listing them. By no means am I a religious person either. I just feel that that the "holiday" season is about more important things and not necessarily driven by religion either.  This time of year is just about trying to be the best person you can be and you're not measured by the gifts you receive or  get.  If you're one of those clowns who get in line to get a few dollars off on "Black Friday" may you be trampled as you and your fellow idiots stampede into the store like a bunch of cattle.

BAH FREAKING HUMBUG MOTHA F#&KAS!!!!

What 9/11 means to me

As America remembers the events of 9/11/01 which changed the way we lived our lives by making us more aware of our surroundings and the patriotism that came along after as a country we were attacked.  9/11/01 to me was a day that will always be embedded in my mind as the day my life changed and how I felt being a service member in the US Navy.  I had spent 6 years in the Navy before that day and I knew after that day my career was not over.  I was going to stay in the Navy as long as I could and able to.  I loved my country before 9/11 but I loved it more after 9/11 because it showed me that where I had grown up in NY had just been attacked and wounded.  I knew that we as a nation but as a city would rise from the ashes and thrive in the face of adversity.  I love that about my home state of NY that we don't give up or give in to adversity and instead use it as motivation to survive and thrive.  As the days and weeks passed after 9/11 we were all on pins and needles being more suspicious and conscious of what was going on around us.  As we reach the 10 year anniversary of 9/11 I remember how I felt that day when life was flipped upside down and our "normal" life was something of the past and of our youth.  Since 9/11 we have see things change and some stay the same but I know that we have to still be vigilant to make sure that we live somewhere that is safe.

I will always remember those who gave their lives to save many from the buildings at World Trade Center and at the Pentagon and the heroes of flight 93 who crashed their plane into the field in Shanksville PA.  There are many others who have not gotten the praise but deserve a great thanks like those men and women in uniform who give their lives on a daily basis to avoid that tragedy from ever happening again.  10 years later we are not the same as we were on Sept 10th but maybe that is a good thing because we know our own mortality and can cherish everyday knowing that we are sleeping under the blanket of freedom that our men and women in uniform provide each and every day.

I might not be in the Navy anymore but I do go out of my way to thank a service member past or present because they need to know that someone back here appreciates their sacrifice.  I never received gratitude or thanks while I was in or since I've been out but I know that I did my job to the best of my ability to provide freedom to American citizens.  To all those who gave their lives on 9/11 and since in the wars on terror I thank you for your sacrifice and you will not be forgotten.

Always Remember, Never Forget

My ER experience

So I had an emergency today and I didn't feel like going to the ER but I ended up going to the ER just to be precautious.  So I go and it starts the minute I walk into the ER as I lean over in pain it takes the ER staff almost 30 minutes to get me into the ER and there was only 1 other patient inside the ER at the time so I have no idea why it took them so long to get me into a bed.  After I finally get into the ER the staff makes me walk to my bed instead of getting me a wheelchair so I don't have any pain as I make it to the bed.  After I walk to the bed being in such pain I finally get to lay down and the pain just continues to increase and the staff don't do anything to try to help me with the discomfort.  After about 30 more minutes of laying in the ER bed one of the staff members finally comes to my bed and starts to take some information from me to see what is wrong.  So as I try to explain what I'm going through and feeling like my body and my Appendix is about to explode inside my body, the staff member finally take some blood and then gives me meds to relieve my pain but this is about 1 1/2 hours into my ER visit.  After I finally get some good meds flowing through my veins the doctor finally comes and examines me and asks me more questions.  I describe to him what is wrong and he tells me he needs to run more tests so as the meds finally take over I fall asleep.

An hour or so later I get woken up by another nurse and they tell me I need to go get a scan done. She doesn't help me up or supports my body as I make my way out of the bed to the wheelchair.  Well after I got into the wheelchair the nurse wheels me up to radiology to get my scan done.  Once I arrive at radiology they just tell me lay down on the bed and don't help me out of the chair or onto the bed.  So I'm not feeling good both physically or mentally because of this experience to the ER.  After the scan is done they barely help me out of the bed and into the wheelchair, mind you the whole time I have an IV attached to my arm and I have to make sure the catheter doesn't bend to stop the flow of fluids. 

After the scan is complete the nurse then takes me back to the ER to get my results back from the scan.  As I lay in the bed waiting to find out the results from either the doctor or the nurse there are a bunch of other new patients in the ER and they are all yelling and screaming and creating chaos inside the ER.  The whole time I'm just trying to lay still to not cause myself any more discomfort.  Finally the doctor stops by my bed 2 hours after my scan is complete to tell me he doesn't know what is wrong with me but that it's not my Appendix.  So I'm relieved and still confused at the same time.  The doctor asks the nurse to discharge me after not finding out exactly what is wrong with me and I'm feeling better then I was before I walked into the ER.  If couldn't get any worse it did, even after not finding out what exactly was bothering me, and as I was about to be discharged or as I thought I asked the nurse to please get me the doctor so I could ask him some questions concerning what I had just gone through and how I could possibly prevent it from happening again.  It took the doctor over 45 min to get to me, mind you the whole ER only had 9 beds and the other patients in the ER were resting or were being taken care by the other nurses.  So finally as the doctor made it to my bed so I could ask him a question and all he said to me was that he was 1 hour and 15minutes late from going to another hospital to work and seemed like I was a inconvenience for asking what was exactly wrong with me and how I could prevent from having to go through this again and he just said to talk to my primary doctor or the specialists with whom I would not be seeing for at least another week or so.  All he said was drink water and take my medications which he prescribed for me to take after I was discharged.  After not getting my questions answered by the doctor and awaiting my discharge from the ER and my instructions to where and what I was going to pick up from the Pharmacy the discharge nurse finally made her way to my bed so I could be discharged.  Mind you before I saw the doctor to ask him the questions one of the other nurses came to my bed and opened my IV so I could be discharged and the bag emptied quickly and even after I spoke to the doctor the discharge nurse took another 30 minutes to come to my bed to discharge me.  My IV had already been emptied for about 25 minutes and all she said was that it was ok because it was just saline but the bag was empty and I had air going into my veins.  As I was being discharged I told the nurse that she needed to work on her bedside manner and that I didn't deserve to be treated the way I was by the staff and she just acted like I didn't say anything and went about her business and didn't even wish me a good evening or that I feel better. 

So that was my horrible experience at the ER this afternoon which took almost 5 hours to find out that they weren't sure exactly what was wrong with me but that it wasn't what I had suspected when I first walked in.  I entered the ER with a lot of discomfort and left the ER with a bitter feeling and disgust from the way the staff treated me as a patient and I will be taking this to the patient advocate tomorrow and hopefully the staff at the ER in the future treat their patients with more sympathy and respect that I obviously didn't receive today.

Early Process for the Goal

So I'm in the Set Goal stage of my dream.  I'm taking all the steps now to achieve my goal which is to run a successful business.  I know my goal won't be reached for a few years because I'm in the very early process but the plan is being set in motion. I luckily am getting good advice and direction from my local small business support organization.  As most small business owners know it's a long hard road to travel to get started in an endeavor such as starting a small business.  I am determined to reach my ultimate goal and I know it will be a hard, time consuming, sacrificing, long road to get where I want to go.  But as the picture above shows there are many steps and goal setting process that should be gone through to get to the finish line.  Once the finish line is reached that is where the hard work begins.  Just because a goal has been achieved doesn't mean that there isn't more work to be done.  As the support system I have set up for myself has told me the business world is one where you have to set yourself apart from your competitors and do everything to attract their customers and clients to leave them for your business because you set yourself apart.  I've also heard that the industry I am wanting to enter is one that is both rewarding and very difficult to reap those rewards because of the work you have to put into it to succeed.  The restaurant/food service business from what many have told me is very difficult but if done right can be very successful.

I might not have the luxury to be born into money but what I do have is tenacity and perseverance.  I know what the road ahead of me is going to be filled with speed bumps and detractors.  But if you have a passion for something you go through the obstacles without taking your eyes off the prize.  I know I am not alone on my pursuit because there are many other small business entrepreneurs who are going through similar circumstances but when you reach your ultimate goal the rewards are so much more satisfying.  If you are like me and are in the early stages of the goal of starting your own business or are a successful small business owner feel free to drop some knowledge and share your experiences or advice because it always helps to have more support.  I hope to be able to help and receive help from many of you no matter what step in the goal process we are at.

Stubbed Toes

Ever have one of those days when it feels like you have no idea how something happened but after it happened you just shake your head and laugh?  A few nights ago I had one of those and I'm still shaking my head and laughing as to how and why it happened.  I was awoken at about 1:30 in the morning from a deep slumber to quench my thirst so I run into my kitchen and as I do so I do it in the dark as to not suddenly get that feeling when you've been in the dark and a light is turned on.  So as I enter the doorway into my kitchen I take a sharp turn and violently slam my left foot into the frame of the doorway and suddenly that feeling of having the light affect my sleepy eyes doesn't seem so bad because the feeling of foot to frame is not a pleasant experience.  

Several hours later when I awaken to start my day I suddenly feel the way the image above describes the feeling as I bear weight on my left foot.  Since I'm so damn clever I decide to wear my shoes and not thinking clearly because the radiating pain coming from my toe and the fact that I'm walking out the door to head out into my day clearly explains why I looked like a wounded animal after escaping a trap.  After my day ends I return home and remove my shoe like a weight being lifted off my shoulders.  I look at my toe and realize it is not broken but in a world of pain.  So as I sit back enjoying a cold brew and write this blog I realize that life's experiences come in different ways and lessons are learned even when you're wanting to just quench your thirst at 1:30 in the morning.  

Wondering

So I sit here on my couch in my apartment wondering.  I wonder lots of things on this couch.  I wonder if everything is predetermined beforehand or really a trial and error on a daily.  I wonder the big things and the little.  So I know it's a holiday weekend, but hard work never takes a holiday.  I know that if you want to make it to the top while everyone else is taking it easy the hard workers are contemplating and planning their travel to the top. 

A lot of hard work is blood, sweat and tears.  Even when reaching for the goal you set for yourself you still have to wonder if its meant to be achieved.  When everything is against you and detractors try to knock you off course you wonder if the effort is worth it.  Life doesn't stop for anyone and it continues long after your journey ends.  Wondering is a good thing to do.  Endless wondering keeps you focused on your pursuit and continues to drive towards achievement. 

All that hype

Well we didn't get taken over by zombies or fucking werewolves so that Super Moon was more like a celestial occurrence that just came and went like the seconds that tick off a clock.  It was pretty intense seeing the moon just creeping up above the horizon and rise in the night sky.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78KPqSZ8emg as I captured the event on video.